Saturday, December 28, 2013

12/28 - Hanoi Day 3 - Ho Chi Minh's (DF) Revenge and Street Food

I woke this morning around 8am with another crazy dream, something to do with people that turned into snakes and dogs.  Those malaria pills are doing a number on my brain.

Museum and shopping day were the orders of the day.  We will be heading up to the Ho Chi Minh museum first to see the embalmed "dead fucker" (aka DF) as George so eloquently put it,
then head to the Old Market area and finally experience the night market and Hanoi's infamous street food in the evening.  I take my malaria pill then go to join the rest of the gang at the ca phe (yes that is how they spell cafe) next door to the hotel for some breakfast pastries and a morning pick me up.  Unfortunately, all the ca phe had were three corn bread looking things.  Hmmm....we had six hungry people, thing could get interesting.  I sip on my coffee with condensed milk and my eyes pop open....holy mother of god it was crazy strong!  I mean, I'm the first to love strong coffee but I think my armpit hair just grew an inch.  I add some water on Cat's suggestion to dilute it, even then it was pretty damn strong.  All of a sudden, my stomach gave a gurgle and turned over cramping.  I jump up, told everyone I have to get to the bathroom NOW and ran upstairs.  I sat on the bed sweating from the cramps trying to hold the malaria pill down.  These stupid pills cost me $200 for a month, I'm keeping it down!  I got lucky, my stomach started to ease up and stopped heaving...but wait...crap...pun intended.  I ran to the bathroom...not to throw up.  After a few minutes, suffice it to say that I'm feeling...cleansed.

At this point I decided it would be wise to stay close to the facilities for a bit longer and told everyone to go on without me.  I planned on meeting up with them at the Ho Chi Minh museum at noon.  Hopefully my stomach and bowels will have settled down by then.  A quick nap and I was feeling better.  It was 11:30 so I headed down to the hotel restaurant to grab a bite.  Oh no, it didn't open until noon!  The staff at the hotel are extraordinarily nice and asked the chef to open up 30 minutes early so I ordered the easiest item to prepare, chicken pho.  They gave me an extra large helping because I mentioned I was starving, they were so incredibly sweet.  I would definitely recommend this Hilton Garden Inn hotel to everyone.

Just as I ordered, I texted George to let them know I was up and about.  It appeared they'd already finished the museum and mausoleum and were on their way to Little Hanoi to grab breakfast/lunch.    I couldn't very well up and leave after these nice people opened the restaurant early just for me so I finished my lunch and opted for a walk rather than taking a cab up to Little Hanoi.  I used "Find My Friends" and pinpointed exactly where they were.  I love Apple!

Cat shared with me their adventure through the mausoleum over lunch.  Apparently the creep factor was pretty high.  No cameras were allowed, talking was shushed to a minimum and everyone was made to walk two by two by armed guards.  They were made to follow a path, no digressing!

While we were having lunch Cat walked outside and was accosted by a lady selling pop up cards.  We  had encountered aggressive vendors during this trip but this lady was insane!  When she wouldn't sell the cards for the price Cat wanted to pay, she came into the restaurant and left her entire card collection on the seat at our table.  Cat walked the cards back out to her after the waitress got grumpy with us, what did she think we were doing selling cards?!!!





Cat gave the lady back her cards and we sat back down.  Suddenly there was a tap at the window.  What the hell..?!!!  The vendor was now trying to negotiate...through the window!  Cat refused.  We finish lunch and start walking down the street.  We look back and wait...isn't that the card lady following us?  Yes, in fact she was, for several blocks no less.  She FINALLY unhappily agreed to the price.  Talk about tenacity, I don't think I've ever been stalked by a vendor before.  It was a bit creepy.

St. Joseph's cathedral was the next stop on our agendy.  There were ninjas in the vicinity that made a surprise appearance.  The air was filthy so we decided to all get face masks.  Janice was our resident fashonista terrorist sporting her Gucci mask.


George, Rodney and Rich opted for heading back to the hotel after the cathedral.  Janice, Cat and I decided to do some window shopping on our leisurely stroll back to the hotel.  We'd been craving Banh My sandwiches but had not been able to find a suitable restaurant that served it.  The sandwiches are considered local street food so very few restaurants included it on their menu opting for more high end or Americanized fare such as club sandwiches or burgers.  I remembered passing a sandwich shop on my walk so we stopped to pick up six for dinner.  The sandwiches were about $1 each and absolutely fabulous.  Three pork and three fishcakes to go please!


I was staaarving!  Especially since I hadn't really eaten anything all day due to HCM's revenge so wolfed down mine and Cat's since she wasn't hungry.  An hour or so of chilling in the hotel to re-energize and we were ready to hit the night market.  Rodney was feeling pretty tired so the rest of us grabbed a cab to the entrance of the market.  Holy cow, I have never seen this many people in one place except maybe in the NY subway during rush hour.  Although the streets were closed off to cars, scooter traffic abounded and it was literally wall to wall people.  Salmon's swimming upstream got nuthin' on this.


Our goals tonight were to shop and eat street food.  Ironically, the vendors were not willing to negotiate much so shopping was kind of a bust.  But Janice did get a purse and Cat finally found her iphone cases for $1 each.


 Then the eating commenced.  I started off the evening with a coconut custard pastry and Cat had a pastry with some mystery meat for $1 each.


Next up were some bbq pork skewers cooked right on the street over coal.  We were trying to guess if it was really pork or rat but we decided the meat was too fatty for rat.  Dog maybe?  Aston!!!  :(  I miss my pup.  George and Rich were brave and shared the skewers with me.  They were 3 for $1.

Ok everyone, smile and say "DYSENTERY"!!!


We saw some corn cooking over open fire.  Fire kills bacteria right?  We hope so, because we ate the whole thing.

Janice had read in the guide book that there was a street near the night market that was known for it's Hoi Bia (fresh beer).  They're made daily and she was dying to try some.  We found beer alley and it was more crowded than the night market if that was even possible.  There was seating outside the restaurants and pubs with tiny little tables and chairs.  We finally found an open spot and settle in for some beer.


I sipped from everyone else's glass and found it to be quite refreshing.  Crisp with the taste of barley, it really did taste freshly made.  We toast to an amazing evening of great food and great company.

Back home on the range (aka Hilton Garden Inn), my stomach didn't agree that the food was that great.  Cat was in the shower and I was watching tv on the bed when all of a sudden....oops, the urge came upon me!  Sorry Cat, when you gotta go you gotta go!  Upside, all the calories I ingested seemed to have just passed through my system.  Downside, now I'm starving!!!  We munch on some dry oranges we purchased of the street the previous day and turn in for the evening.  Tomorrow begins at 5am to catch our flight to Hue.  Oy vey...I was just glad my bowels didn't wake me in the middle of the night.  Thank goodness for small favors is all I got to say about that.

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