1/3 - Hoi An to Ho Chi Minh - Team Angkor Wat and Cell Block 9

I don't need to wonder what a Vietnamese prison is like.  In fact, it might have been preferable to our accommodations on our lovely 18 hour train ride from Da Nang to HCM.  At least prison cells are slightly more roomy and have their own toilets.

Remember several blogs ago, I mentioned that Janice and Rich went to the train station to purchase our tickets?  This was it.  Unfortunately, the only departure time available was 1:30 a.m.  Saggy shoulders, eyes baggy and swollen from sleep deprivation and limited mental capacity among six people in small confined spaces...now throw in the smell of trash and cigarette smoke.  Ahhhh yes, a picture starts to form.

We arrived at the Da Nang train station in about 30 minutes from our hotel in Hoi An.  Wow, we had expected the ride to take a good hour but realized it was just because our OCD driver with turrets on our way in was really just that sloooowwwww.

"Don't expect too much peeps, this is not going to be a luxury ride."

Janice tried to manage our expectations by reminding us several times prior to, with each time lowering the expectations just a bit more.  But she did indicate at a minimum, we would have air conditioning.

"Ok peeps, REMEMBER it's NOT going to be that great!"

We didn't believe her.  We should have believed her.  Believed her and then some.  It didn't help that the photos in the train brochure LIED.

We and our now 15 pieces of luggage (and growing) get to the train station around 11:30 p.m.  Barely a soul in the station, just one woman dressed very well with blingy gold high heel shoes on the phone.  I looked at her suspiciously and wondered at her occupation.  We spread out since there was plenty of room and immediately start looking for outlets to charge our multitude of Apple electronics.  George went scouting and returned with a full report of the location of all the "working" outlets.

Checking the train scheduled uncovered the unhappy fact that our train was running almost an hour late.  It was originally scheduled for a 1:30 departure, it was now departing at 2:10 a.m.

*sigh*

We shuffle back to our spots and return to our respective addictions: surfing the net, checking Facebook in case we missed some important news about someone's cat in the last 5 minutes and Candy Crushing.  Lives!  Need more lives!!!

"Oh candy crush", murmurs Cat.

The train station started filling up with locals, not a good sign for the state of our impending accommodations.  One of the working outlets was located in the far back wall so George and I tag team to keep it occupied.  I noticed a large trash bag under the bench I was about to occupy...how odd.  A swift kicked revealed that it was a bag of aluminum cans.  I relieved George of his outlet watch and as I browse Facebook, I notice a rather...tangy smell and not a nice one.  It smelled like something sweet and sticky had been sitting in the hot sun for about a week.  There was a table and bench next to me and one of the locals had decided that would make for a good bed.  I wasn't sure if the smell came from the trash or the sleeping local.  I check my phone...sigh...25% battery life.  It was doubtful the train would have an outlet so I wait it out, taking shallow breathes through my mouth.

The train arrived...on the other side of the tracks.  We felt like fugitives, dragging our luggage over train tracks running to board the train.  We were in carriage #9 and booked two rooms each sleeping four.  Dragging our luggage onto the train, we encountered a VERY narrow walkway.  This did not bode well.

Bunks 13, 14, 15 and 16.  Opening the door to the room, sleepy faces peeked from three of the bunk beds mumbling at us in French.  How confusing, did we open the wrong room?  We shut the door and move two doors down which was thankfully empty.  We get our first glimpse of our "room".  

Shuffle, shuffle, squeeze, squeeze

We had to get creative in order to fit all our luggage into this "cozy" space.  My cell mates were Janice, Cat and George.  Janice put her French into action and reorganized sleeping arrangements.  We let two of the French guys have the top bunks of Rich and Rodney's room.  In our cell, C and G got the top bunks.  Janice saved us from being eaten by bedbugs and other critters by making us all buy silk sleeping bag liners.  Brilliant!

Introducing my cell mates in order of appearance:

Catalina

George

Janice

Cell Block 9 Bunks 21-24 Group Christmas Photo

Rich

Rod-NEE

The train smelled like urine and I tried not to touch anything except my silk bag for fear my extremities would get contaminated and fall off.  I was soooo tired, it was now going on 2:30 a.m. and we're all a bit delirious.  My exhaustion took over and I fell asleep to the sound of Cat cackling hysterically (she had fallen victim to giggle fits) my last thought being that I hope rats or cockroaches would refrain from paying us a housewarming visit.  

I wasn't taking any chances, I made myself a little cocoon.  I slept like the dead that night despite the smell and noise.  Thankfully, Janice was right about the train having air conditioning or it would have been beyond miserable.  I poked my head out around 8 a.m. I think.  My cell mates were already up and about thinking about food.  I decided I wasn't going to eat or drink anything as I was planning on avoiding the bathroom at all costs.  George had run a recon mission on it out a little earlier and shared that it was rather sub par.  That was an understatement and I didn't want to find out just how much of an understatement.

Despite my initial resolve, hunger drove me to eat a little something.  Crackers and ramen noodles from the Co Op Supermarket sustained us.  We were not about to try the questionable train food.

Janice passed out our precious food rations of ramen, rice crackers and various nuts.

George slurped down his bowl of noodles.  If he were in jail, this is what I would write:

Dear George,

You probably shouldn't take that position unless you're looking for some new "friends".

p.s.  if someone tells you you have a "purdy" mouth, run.

~S

Mr. Ishimoto came over to share in our rations.  We had just mentioned how thankful we were that we didn't have any critter invasions.  I hate roaches, cat hates rats.  Rodney was not so lucky.  When he opened his eyes this morning, there was a giant roach not two inches from his face.  EEEWWWWW!!!  I would have screamed bloody murder.

Suddenly, my stomach gurgled and my bladder give me a not so gentle nudge.  NOOOOO!!!  My resolve shattered.  I can't possibly hold it for another 8 hours.  Grrrrr...  George suggested I use the toilet to the right as the one to the left was a squatter and not well maintained.  Pulling up my big girl panties, I squared my shoulders, grab the roll of toilet paper and marched down the hall.  I paused outside the toilet, took a few breathes and opened the door.  A gentle sniff indicated the room was relatively safe smell-wise, aided by the fact that someone had been kind enough to leave the window open.

Ok, time to do this.

I cautiously approach the toilet and stared down into the abyss.  I frown as my foggy brain processed the scene, holy crap!  The toilet emptied directly onto the train tracks!  Oh.My.God.  Scenes from movies of kids playing on train tracks flashed through my head.  Thank goodness I had never done it, I had no idea the tracks were essentially one long toilet.  EEEEWWWWW!!!

Rich came by.  He had been heading to the back of the train when he felt a pecking on his foot.  Looking down, he saw a chicken in a supermarket plastic bag with just its head sticking out pecking at his offending foot.  I wonder if they charged the chicken a seat on the train?

The original ETA to HCM was 4 p.m.  Current ETA is 6 p.m.  Around 4 p.m. we all started going a little stir crazy.  Cat started having giggle fits again, Janice went into denial and was convinced we will cover the next 2 hours in 10 minutes so started packing, George retreated behind his ear buds and I sat in a comatose state staring at the wall.  I had mentally checked out.  I nap, I sit up, I nap again.  I was vaguely aware that people were talking but all I heard was Charlie Brown's teacher.

WE ARRIVE!!!

We gleefully point to the crazy traffic that had scared us shitless not 13 days earlier.  The beginning of the trip was a lifetime ago and we all felt like it's been years and not weeks since we made our way across the pond.  We made it, we really did.  We laugh a little hysterically and admit that it hadn't been that bad once we got settled in.  I think it was the initial shock that caught us off guard but now we had a crazy adventure to share.  Wasn't that what traveling was all about, experiencing crazy adventures and living to tell about it?  However, as much as we "enjoyed" our humbling experience, we couldn't wait to get to our next stop...the Sheraton.  We clamber into taxis and jet off...straight into HCM traffic.  Yay!!!  It didn't matter, the ordeals on the train were already starting fade into a distant memory.  Cat made it clear to the driver that he needed to take us directly to the hotel.

"No detour!  Straight to Sheraton!", she growls at the driver.

The taxis here were notorious for taking tourists on "detours" to run up the meter.  We already had first hand experience.  This time, we made it to the hotel in about 15-20 minutes.  I'd like to think that the driver decided we were not a good target after one look at Cat's face.

The Sheraton was beautiful, but it was like a mirage turned reality for us.  We walked in a bit dazed.  I decided to pay the extra $25 to include the executive lounge upgrade and we all headed upstairs to check in, get some real food and most importantly to use a real toilet!  In my room, the shower was spa style with three shower heads.  Oh.My.God.

Of all the adventures on this trip, despite the groaning, moaning and complaining about the train ride, I can safely say that this day will go down in the history of our family travel that we will reminisce about for years to come.

Remember that totally fucked up train ride from Da Nang to HCM?!!!!